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the-softwolf:

THIS IS MY FAVORITE.

(Source: youngadultatbooktopia, via carm-n)

tastefullyoffensive:

[via imgur]

What’s the most dad thing your dad has ever done?

(via neverbeenlicked)

cockedtail:

you can put this device on any surface and it will actually type. like. this is a hologram. a HOLOGRAM. I CAN TYPE WITH A HOLOGRAM NOW.

its sold by Brookstone and fucking damn it is the most fascinating thing i have seen in my life so far holy god

(via phthalochar)

zxxqnge:

This guy brought his whole fucking desktop into Starbucks.

lmfao

(via neverbeenlicked)

aphrodildo:

flirting w/ bae

aphrodildo:

flirting w/ bae

(via hitmon-chancoco)

smokewithmirrors:

Gambino fixes a fan’s portrait-recording phone.

smokewithmirrors:

Gambino fixes a fan’s portrait-recording phone.

(via ishotgatsby)

fallingloki:

listen i don’t give a fuck if we’re friends, if we’re playing videogames i will show you no mercy. fuck you. be strong

(Source: fallingloki, via will-i-am-)

  • Them: I don't think kids should be exposed to gay relationships.
  • You: Why not?
  • Them: It's introducing children to sexuality! They're too young for that!
  • You: So when a prince and princess kiss in a Disney movie, are they introduced to sexuality? When the prince and the princess get married and have a child, is that introducing your child to sexuality?
  • Them: NO! But if they see a man and a man, or a woman and a woman together... they're going to start asking questions! Like how a man and a man can... you know, do anything together.
  • You: You think the only thing people think when they see a gay couple is "I wonder how they have sex"? Furthermore, you think a CHILD is going to even know what that means? When the prince and the princess kiss, does your 4 year old daughter ask, "mommy, how do people have intercourse"? No. She just sees two people in love. If you remember when you were a kid, you probably didn't think about sex every time you saw two people happy together.
  • Them: But it'll bring up all kinds of questions, it'll confuse my child!
  • You: Then be a fucking parent and explain it to your child. The only question that might be brought up is "mom, why don't you want gay people to be happy?". And when you don't have a good answer for that question, you can look your child in the eye and say "It's because I'm a bigot".
mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

(Source: bent-duck, via will-i-am-)

disneymagicman:

cthulhu-with-a-fez:

adlersassistant:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

ghostdrive:

#hello #i hate what you’ve done with the place 


Oh you’ve redecorated…
I don’t like it

i acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it’s a stupid-ass renovation, i’ve elected to ignore it.

I sense a Beetlejuice feel to this.

disneymagicman:

cthulhu-with-a-fez:

adlersassistant:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

ghostdrive:

Oh you’ve redecorated…

I don’t like it

i acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it’s a stupid-ass renovation, i’ve elected to ignore it.

I sense a Beetlejuice feel to this.

(via neverbeenlicked)

221bitssmallerontheoutside:

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom


BEST MOM

I’m crYING

omg

221bitssmallerontheoutside:

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

image

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

omg

(via themiraculousjourney)

theupperarmyqueen:

best thing ever said

(via neverbeenlicked)

(Source: memewhore, via neverbeenlicked)

A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her.

Unknown

I will reblog this every single time

(via hogwartsastory)

This is so fucking awesome

(via dreckshure)

(Source: quotethat, via carm-n)